Today's real event...

I had to place a call to HP tech support today.
Here is how the new support works.

"On the phone over an hour with HP.
I looked up and ran diags on the unit.
Had harddrive failure.
Called HP.
Went through the "I can't help you, let me transfer you" scenario with a non-English speaking joke. Second non-English speaking joke said "they shouldn't have transferred you." I went ballistic. Got supervisor.
Supervisor: "Oops." In non-English.
Transferred me back to non-English speaking joke.
She built case.
Now I'm on hold for hardware department.
Because to ship out a hard drive they need a credit card.
To make sure they get it back.
Held for 20 minutes.
Then get another non-English speaking joke.
To verify everything I just told them.

I'm going to give them a non-English speaking credit card.
What a joke.