Culture shock. And money too

Spoke with someone who transferred from HP California to HP Houston last year.
Interesting fact: his California salary is so much higher than the equivalent Houston position that he was told "don't expect any pay raises while you are out there."
'course, Houston is so much cheaper to live in he's ahead of the game.

He mentioned that he was still having a tough time adjusting to the former Compaq culture.
"Yeah, they brought in 300 of us and there are 10,000 old Compaq people. It's not always smooth."

Me: Well, you have to understand the culture here. Californians drink wine. We drink whiskey.

Him: I drink wine.

Me: That's your problem. Drink whiskey.

HR prizes (or not)

We had a supervisor's training meeting.
As part of the 2 day meeting they devised a contest.
Now, this is a group of supervisors.
Fairly competitive group.
HR goes on and on about the final mystery prize.

Contest ends.
I win.
The prize?
Oh, no prize.
It was just an incentive.
No need for a real prize.

HR, that bastion of proper relations, figured the only way to get supervisors to participate in the class was to lie to them.
Know what happened when someone lied to HR?
They got fired.

HR. Gotta love 'em.

There was a crooked man.

There was a crooked man
and he walked a crooked mile.
And bought a Compaq computer.

Many of our customers were out and out crooks.
Many of them played the 'small claims' game.
Almost every big company will fight lawsuits in the courts to avoid setting precedence.
HOWEVER, small claims court is not recognized by most as a "real court."
Many of our customers would simply file in small claims for $3 or $4 thousand and wait for us to call.
One customer told us on her first call: " I filed in small claims. The JP told me that I'd get what I want because Compaq always settles."
And we did.
You file, you win.
One customer wanted their money back AND to keep the computer.
Care to guess?
Yup. We gave her the money back and she kept the computer.

Another scam was big in portables.
We had a mail in repair program.
We mail you a box, you pack the computer, ship it back UPS/ FEDEX.
Boxes would come in packed with bricks or phone books.
Customer swears they sent in the computer.
Someone at UPS/FEDEX must have stolen it.
And when is Compaq going to send a replacement computer?
Today. No problem.

The most common theft was parts.
We sent out user replaceable parts.
The customer never sent back the original.
We couldn't do anything.
So we tried taking credit cards as insurance.
Still didn't work.
Customer protested charge.
Said they shipped product back.
We lost again.

Last and least common.
We ship out harddrive.
They return hard drive from another brand computer.

Very ingenious, these customers.