There was a crooked man.

There was a crooked man
and he walked a crooked mile.
And bought a Compaq computer.

Many of our customers were out and out crooks.
Many of them played the 'small claims' game.
Almost every big company will fight lawsuits in the courts to avoid setting precedence.
HOWEVER, small claims court is not recognized by most as a "real court."
Many of our customers would simply file in small claims for $3 or $4 thousand and wait for us to call.
One customer told us on her first call: " I filed in small claims. The JP told me that I'd get what I want because Compaq always settles."
And we did.
You file, you win.
One customer wanted their money back AND to keep the computer.
Care to guess?
Yup. We gave her the money back and she kept the computer.

Another scam was big in portables.
We had a mail in repair program.
We mail you a box, you pack the computer, ship it back UPS/ FEDEX.
Boxes would come in packed with bricks or phone books.
Customer swears they sent in the computer.
Someone at UPS/FEDEX must have stolen it.
And when is Compaq going to send a replacement computer?
Today. No problem.

The most common theft was parts.
We sent out user replaceable parts.
The customer never sent back the original.
We couldn't do anything.
So we tried taking credit cards as insurance.
Still didn't work.
Customer protested charge.
Said they shipped product back.
We lost again.

Last and least common.
We ship out harddrive.
They return hard drive from another brand computer.

Very ingenious, these customers.