Please Hold....

I hate that these ideas come out of order but....

Hold times...
Compaq still could not get a handle on tech support call volumes. Hold times often hit an hour or more. Many, many times you would answer the next call and find the person asleep on the line. Snoring.
We'd yell and whistle and tap the phone to wake them up. After about a minute or so of this we just hung up.
After all, our phone stats ruled.

We would occasionally answer the call to hear people having sex. Being basically male, we'd listen for a minute before saying anything. Then we'd start trying to get their attention.

What never ceased to amaze me was that every single time we interrupted a sexual activity, they would stop in mid-action and start screaming "Wait! Don't hang up! " as they ran for the phone.

Some people need tech support more than others, I guess.

One of the big lies: You get these phone systems that say: "For more information press 3. You will not lose your place in line if you do so."

Yeah. That's a lie. I asked about it once. Answer: " Of course they lose their place in line. Don't be stupid. But our hold times are so long anyway it doesn't really matter."

Oh. Ok.

There are so many tech support stories out there I'm not going to repeat them.
I will give you one of mine:
Customer: If I unplug my computer will the information drain out?
Me: ( I had this vision of bits and bytes draining out the power cord. Little 1's and 0's. I wanted to tell them to hold the end of the cord above their head while they moved the computer. Sorta like an IV bottle.) "No. We pack it on the disc fairly well."