Sometimes they are crazy

Sometimes your customer is just crazy.

Seriously. Crazy people like to call tech support so they can talk to someone.

One guy kept calling in with bogus errors.
We never could find anything wrong.
Still, to please the customer, we sent out software.
Once or twice we even changed a part that we knew was still good.
All in trying to keep the man happy.

Nothing worked.
I'd been promoted (don't laugh) by this time to supervisor of an internal group.
And program manager of an outsource group.

So I had all his calls routed to me.
And I did some research, calling our onsite techs to get info.

Turns out his guy lived in a mobile home on a farm doing chores for some old lady.
No phone.
No friends.
No visitors.
The only way he could feel important was to get tech support to send someone out.

I handled all of his calls after that.
He would beg whoever answered the phone not to send him to me.

Why?
Because I said no to any further support.
And that was his whole life.

After a few months of this he bought a Dell.

Another customer was escalated to me as being slightly insane.
He would speak normally until you told him "no" on something.
Then he started crying. Loudly.
It got to the point where as soon as they told him he was being transferred to me he started crying.

There was never anything wrong with his unit. He just liked to call tech support and talk.

One customer told me if I said no one more time he would bring a shotgun and meet me at the front door.

He was in Michigan.
I'm in Houston, Tx.

Told him to come on down.
Everyone carries a shotgun in Texas.

Another customer called to say our computer killed his cat.
Really.
He turned on the computer one day and the cat died.
Too much RAM, I guess.